IT jokes – Computer jokes

Even if you are IT freaks, I think many of you still have some sense of humor, unlike some grumpy ones out there. I thought it would be nice if I would share with you guys some of the IT jokes I know and like and maybe you have new ones that I could read and make me smile. 🙂

IT gags and pranks are some of the most funny things out there, especially for nerds, because in some cases you still need a decent level of knowledge to understand some of them and so smiles will pop up all of a sudden.

In a future article or maybe even an updated version of this one will follow with some IT funny stories from my life and some of them that I heard about that happened to branch colleagues or friends working in the same domain.

1.

Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.

 

2.

What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!

 

3.

A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.

 

4.

Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!

 

5.

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
– You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar.
– And what did you do ?
– I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her.
– Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then ?
– I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop.
– Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications ?

 

6.

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
– Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
– Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
– Good monkey, it’s worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
– What does this monkey know?
– It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad.
– Nice, even I don’t know those things.
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
– And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?
– I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!

 

7.

Types of Women:
HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can
live without her.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
From every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to
uninstall her you will lose everything; if you don’t try to uninstall
her you will be rendered useless… Either way, you lose.

 

8.

One reporter making an article for a local paper by interviewing some university students.
– What is your opinion on virtual sex?
Medicine student:
– What does virtual mean?
Economy student:
– Good point, what does virtual mean?
Information Technology student:
– Just wait a second, what does sex mean?

 

9.

Two programmers meet each other after a long period of time, when no one knew where the other was or were doing.
– So, how are you, how is you life now-a-days?
– Default..

 

10.

Two World of Warcraft gamers in the Easter night.
One says to the other: Christ is RISEN.
The other one replies: Great, what level is he?

 

11.

Two IT programmers were working extra-hours during a night.
One lights up a cigar while checking the cigarette pack when he notices the messages written on it.
– Hey man, did you see what does it say on this pack?
– What ?
– Tobacco is bad for your health.
– Ok, forget about the warnings, tell me the errors.

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