I thought it would be nice if I would share with you guys some of the computer jokes I know and like and maybe you have new ones that I could read and make me smile. 🙂 Even if you are IT freaks, I think many of you still have some sense of humor, unlike some grumpy ones out there.

IT gags and pranks are some of the most funny things out there, especially for nerds, because in some cases you still need a decent level of knowledge to understand some of them and so smiles will pop up all of a sudden.

In a future article or maybe even an updated version of this one will follow with some IT funny stories from my life and some of them that I heard about that happened to branch colleagues or friends working in the same domain.

1.

Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.

 

2.

What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!

 

3.

A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.

 

4.

Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!

 

5.

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
– You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar.
– And what did you do ?
– I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her.
– Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then ?
– I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop.
– Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications ?

 

6.

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
– Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
– Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
– Good monkey, it’s worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant.
– What does this monkey know?
– It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad.
– Nice, even I don’t know those things.
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
– And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?
– I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!

 

7.

Types of Women:
HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can
live without her.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
From every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to
uninstall her you will lose everything; if you don’t try to uninstall
her you will be rendered useless… Either way, you lose.

 

8.

One reporter making an article for a local paper by interviewing some university students.
– What is your opinion on virtual sex?
Medicine student:
– What does virtual mean?
Economy student:
– Good point, what does virtual mean?
Information Technology student:
– Just wait a second, what does sex mean?

 

9.

Two programmers meet each other after a long period of time, when no one knew where the other was or were doing.
– So, how are you, how is you life now-a-days?
– Default..

 

10.

Two World of Warcraft gamers in the Easter night.
One says to the other: Christ is RISEN.
The other one replies: Great, what level is he?

 

11.

Two IT programmers were working extra-hours during a night.
One lights up a cigar while checking the cigarette pack when he notices the messages written on it.
– Hey man, did you see what does it say on this pack?
– What ?
– Tobacco is bad for your health.
– Ok, forget about the warnings, tell me the errors.

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